Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Great Indian Muslim Wedding

Bus number AP-36, 7689 was heading to Secunderabad and our destination was Tarnaka. I was furious on Ammi as Baba got us into this non-ac bus which stops at every possible bus-stop (but why on Ammi?, just because I can’t vent out my anger on Baba and she is my sweet heart who soaks in all my stupidity). 

'Please get them down at Tarnaka bus stand and help them with the luggage’, Baba told the driver forth time as I said bye to him with those I-will-gulp-you-in-single-bite looks.

Bubbling in artificial anger I avoided eye contact with Ammi for a while but in a few minutes happily dozed off on her lap while she caressed my hair. We were on our way to attend my dear friend Rehan's wedding. Me attending marriages is a rarity but this time I was keen to witness a Muslim wedding, more closely and consciously. 

We just reached in time for the bridegroom-making-ceremony. I was expecting Rehan to wear *Sehra, the trade-mark of an Indian groom. But in terms of weight Muslim Sehra has unassailable lead. Easily it increases body weight by 10%. In hot scorching summers, the groom will understand the functioning of a blast furnace like never before. Rehan was lucky enough to escape this but not the chores of being introduced to a long line of guests. I watched him posing for photographs with unflagging enthusiasm. The line was real big and my intestines were screaming. To placate them my legs hurried to dining hall.

For carnivorous animals like me, Muslim wedding is a paradise. It’s not just about the long list of items but also the taste. On the day of *Nikah, I ate to the extent of having a bout of diarrhea but still sustained the same levels of enthusiasm even for *Valima. Gods were on my side, they knew I was starving for good food in the land of Rajma and Paneer. 

*Dowry is all pervasive in Indian ethos and Muslim community is no exception. But 40 *tolas of gold is beyond my imagination. As an MBA, I say Gold is the safest bet in investment perspective especially when markets tumble. But if these 40 tolas are precursor of many more kilograms to follow, I see it as an absolute sunk cost. Will the bride ever wear it all? My future in-laws, here I say, I prefer liquid cash.

One unique feature of Muslim wedding is segregation of men and women into different sections. Even the bride and groom are not together, not even during Nikah. May be this separation serves as a catalyst to glue them together for next seven births. For unmarried eyes prowling for feminine species it is horrendous experience. Indubitably woman epitomizes beauty and it embellishes further in company of a man. Hence I opine this segregation is uncalled-for.

As I was planning to stay with Prad that night I had to meet Ammi which meant crossing the border. I could see the glint in her eyes as she spotted me. I am nothing less than Mercedes Class S for her and occasions like these form perfect platform for me to be put for interactive display or may be a prospective sale.

She took me with her and the first thing which caught my attention was the glistening attire of the ladies. This is very common amongst Muslim women and no better occasion than marriages to flaunt them.

‘Aapa, mera beta’, I was introduced to a lady in ultra-red sari with glitters which exemplifies tare-sari-pe.


‘Salaam karo beta khala ko’, Ammi said. Even without a slightest hint as to how we are connected I obliged with a fake smile. 

‘Ittha sa tha jab Jaibun ki shaadi mein dekhi’, she continued while I was wondering what could be the weight of her necklace. 

'Suna hain bada padhai karre, Ab dawat kab doge?’, now even Ammi looked at me with quizzical eyes. 

‘Bus jaldi, aap aane ki tayari shuru karna khala’, I ducked the question and nudged Ammi to move on.

While this conversation was on there were atleast hundred eyes staring at me which made me nervous. Thanks to the fact that headquarters of our biological system is located in our mothers, Ammi already got SOS signals. She quickly completed the introductions with this-kid-is-impossible expression on her face and I heaved a sigh of relief as I stepped out. As I walked towards Prad through the silent corridor, a cold thought struck me – 'Roles will be swapped soon'. So what? I jerked my head, ruffled my hair and felt happy to have enough stuff to scribble another post on my blog. 


Notes:
Sehra-barrier made of flowers hanged in front of bridegroom's face;Nikah-Marriage;Valima-Reception;1 tolla=11.7 gms. Also, the dowry thing I specified is based on what I overhear in general, not specific to any marriage in vogue or broken.

6 comments:

  1. Have never witnessed a muslim wedding ever.. but have always wanted to... Hope some friend of mine gets married soon or if it doesn't happen I might just gate-crash. Your narration is beautiful.
    Glad to have found you at indiblogger. our newest follower and a regular visitor now.
    cheers
    Kajal

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Kajal. I hope whenever you attend one it will remind you of my post :)

      Best
      A

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  2. Being a naive, i have witnessed that the Muslim weddings might be really fun to be at and with your post was lovely indeed :)

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